Barbara and Charles Whitfield Quotes
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BEING WHOLE (THE NATURE OF SPIRITUALITY)
"Ancient Eastern scriptures and modern Western healers (Jung, Kubler-Ross) have explained an easily understandable map to expand the quality of our lives. They used a circle divided into four equal quadrants. Each one represents an aspect of us. The first quadrant is the physical. It urges us to take care of our physical body. The second quadrant represents our mental or intellectual aspect, where our society likes to excel. The third quadrant has been underplayed. It is our emotional aspect, this is where much of our healing work is done. We must go back, in Stage Two, and connect to our earlier (or sometimes recent) trauma on an emotional level.
If we were traumatized as children, we usually weren’t given the opportunity to feel and express our hurt, name it and then grieve it so we could eventually let it go. Instead, we held it in and numbed out to it. Now, through our recovery, we exercise our third quadrant – our emotional aspect. And, when all three aspects – physical, emotional and intellectual are in balance – the fourth quadrant, according to Eastern scriptures, will easily activate. It is the Spiritual—not as an intellectual decision – but as an experiential connection.
During all stages of recovery, it is to our benefit to work on our physical as well as our emotional and mental state. I will stretch this to include my own experience of bliss by diving into my weakest quadrant – the physical – and working out at a gym in increasing intensity until I went beyond what I “thought” I was capable of. (My trainer also suggested a nutritional plan that is not only healthy but has given me abundant energy.)
What aspect of the four – physical, mental, emotional or spiritual—is your least developed? This is where your bliss may lie." Barbara Harris Whitfield Read the article BEING WHOLE (THE NATURE OF SPIRITUALITY)
HEALING THE CHILD WITHIN
“Cermak said, “Those therapists who work successfully with this population have learned to honor the client’s need to keep a lid on his or her feelings. The most effective therapeutic process involves swinging back and forth between uncovering feelings and covering them again, and it is precisely this ability to modulate their feelings that PTSD clients have lost. They must feel secure that their ability to close their emotions down will never be taken away from them, but instead will be honored as an important tool for living. The initial goal of therapy here is to help clients move more freely into their feelings with the assurance that they can find distance from them again if they begin to be overwhelmed. Once children from chemically dependent homes, adult children of alcoholics, and other PTSD clients become confident that you are not going to strip them of their survival mechanisms, they are more likely to allow their feelings to emerge, if only for a moment. And that moment will be a start.” (58)” Barbara and Charles Whitfield Quotes ― Charles L. Whitfield, Healing the Child Within: Discovery and Recovery for Adult Children of Dysfunctional Families
SAFE AND SUPPORTIVE
“From the recovery experience of hundreds of thousands of people, we know that there is an effective way out of this constricting and binding effect of shame: to tell the story of our suffering to safe and supportive others. (51)” Barbara and Charles Whitfield Quotes ― Charles L. Whitfield, Healing the Child Within: Discovery and Recovery for Adult Children of Dysfunctional Families
“Simos said, “Grief work must be shared. In sharing, however, there must be no impatience, censure or boredom with the repetition, because repetition is necessary for catharsis and internalization and eventual unconscious acceptance of the reality of the loss. The bereaved are sensitive to the feelings of others and will not only refrain from revealing feelings to those they consider unequal to the burden of sharing the grief but may even try to comfort the helpers.” (97)” Barbara and Charles Whitfield Quotes ― Charles L. Whitfield, Healing the Child Within: Discovery and Recovery for Adult Children of Dysfunctional Families
Barbara and Charles Whitfield Quotes